Now we move to the Album charts

I. Eva Cassidy Armenian

Chris: I'm not a big fan of albums. Never have been.
Neil: We know that.
Chris: I've not heard this. I think you only need one Eva Cassidy album, and I've got it. The Pet Shop Boys were in very early on the Eva Cassidy phenomenon, weren't they? Chris: Neil was.
Neil: I was in early because I'm so hip I heard Michael Parkinson playing her version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" on Radio Two at least five years ago. He had that Jonathan Ross slot on Radio Two and my radio was tuned to Radio Two because the woman who cleaned my house used to listen to that, and this record was playing so I listened to it and I thought wow, that's fantastic" and I actually got out of the bath and wrote the name down and bought it off amazon. com because you couldn't get it. And we played it at the end of the Nightlife tour. Chris: It's a fantastic version of that song. Neil: Anyway I've got two albums or three albums by her.
Chris: But you've not decided to go for four?
Neil: No, I haven't decided to go for four. Chris: You think four's just too much? Neil: I saw it in the shops and I didn't buy it. But she's got an album called TimeAfter Time which has got her version of the Cyndi Lauper classic "Time After Time" which I think is really good and she sings a gorgeous song by Paul Simon called "Kathy's Song". She's got a beautiful voice. What I really hate is when she does the kind ofjazzy r'n'b stuff.
Chris: Well, everyone hates that.

2. Robbie Williams Escapology

Neil: What's interesting about this album is that I felt it came and went very quickly at the beginning, and then with this
whole Knebworth thing it came back in the
chart from nowhere to number one.
Chris Quite remarkable.
Neil And it just goes to show that...
Chris that talent always surfaces.
Neil Exactly. And I liked the first single from
this album 'Feel", I believe it's called.
Chris. Have a very nice feel, why don't you?

3. Daniel Bedingfield Gotta

Get Thra This
Neil: Daniel Bedingfield, Chris told me, is apparently a virgin. Chris: He's a Christian. Not only that but he sings naked in
the vocal booth.
Neil: Why does he do that?
Chris: I don't know.
Neil: Because he just feels, like, free. Chris: He employs bodyguards to keep groupies away from him. Why is someone like that in this industry? It's sick. Aside from all that only-possibly-true hearsay, what about this records?
Chris: "Gona Get Thru This" was airight. Neil: I'm not really aware of them. Chris: You're lucky.
Neil: He had a single that was number one the other week, didn't he? I heard the end of the chart on Top OfThe Pops and I thought I'd listen to it, and I didn't think it was a great song. I can appreciate schlock ballads and I didn't think it was.. it was no "Feel" by Robbie Williams, for instance.

4. Sean Paul Dutq' Rock

Chris: It's just sexist. His album is selling because everyone thirks Blu Cantrell is just a porn star struck lucky, and he's considered an artist, because
he's male.
Neil: Reggae with a tune is never entirely unhip, because it stands outside cool, doesn't it, and every now and then it can always be cool. But I haven't heard this album, though as I said, I am aware of his fly posters, so they're doing a good job.

5. The Coral Magic And

Medicine
Chris: Are these from
Liverpool?
Neil: They are, yeah.
Chris: I liked that sort of Motown-y thing that they petformed on the same Later... with Jools Holland that we were on. I don't know much more about them. They're always quite chirpy, aren't they, groups from Liverpool?
Neil: He's a good singer, too. I notice that this album got very good reviews everywhere in the rock press, which I tend to read. The rock press thought it was good. However I'm not that bothered, really.

6. Busted Busted

Neil: See singles chart. Now,
has the album gone platinum? Double platinum.
Thirty-seven weeks in the chart.
Neil: Very good.

7. Kosheen Kokopelli

Chris: Not heard it. Neil: Actually this has had some good reviews in the kind of G2 Guardian kind of world.

8. Beyonce' Dangerously In

Chris: Apparently this album's rubbish and it's only worth getting the single. That's what my sister told me and she's a
fan. Patchy! That's why albums are a waste of bloody time. Wliy do you want something patchy?

9. Stereophonics You Gotta Go There To Come Back

Chris: [laughs sarcastically] They always have good album titles don't they? What was the last one? Just Enough
Education The Perform? Why don't they have
chart from nowhere to number one.
Chris: Quite remarkable.
Neil: And it just goes to show that...
Chris: . . .that talent always suffaces.
Neil: Exactly. And I liked the first single from this album. "Feel", I believe it's called. Chris: Have a very nice feel, why don't you? one word album titles?
Neil: They do long. They do long album titles, which is always interesting. The Stereophonics by all rights should have gone down the dumper by now, because they are a bit boring, and also the singer who's very good-looking has grown his hair to make himself look unattractive, which is a strange career move, butt guess he thinks he'll be taken seriously. But I think this is up there genuinely because they have released... Chris: . . a good single...
Neil: . . .not only a good single, their only ever good single. I mean, it's actually a nice record. I look forward to Rod Stewart covering it.

10. The Darkness Permission To Land

Chris: I've not heard the album. They're a laugh, aren't they? That video is brilliant Neil: We heard The Darkness
first on Liquid News.
Chris: We thought that it was a comedy thing from the Edinburgh festival. Particularly the bloke with the moustache.
Neil: But what was interesting is, within days you were suddenly aware of The Darkness. Chris: I then saw them on Later... with Jools Holland and they stole the show, because you had all these indie hands all moping around, and then they came on and you thought way-hey, and at the end of the performance he jumped onto the piano, and Jools Holland was so impressed he sort of ran over And it was really fresh and exciting compared to all this dreary indie music we've been listening to for such a long time. But it's difficult to take them seriously, really. The mock opera rock opera stuff and all that. There's this great bit in the video where he's standing and this guitar falls from the heavens into his hands - it's just fantastic.
Neil: They're a bit like Queen, aren't they? What I like about them is I think they have total integrity because they're doing something that no one else is doing that is in theory totally unfashionable. There is that whole world out
there. When we were with Sanctuary you were aware there is this amazing whole world of Kerrang! and Iron Maiden are a big deal and all of it, that the whole rest of the world just ignores. And they go on selling albums and touring and being massively successful in Japan and Hong Kong and South America and Germany and everything - a little bit like ourselves in a way, actually. They're a huge genre that's really popular; we're a little genre of our own. I sort of admire that someone out there likes this kind of thing and decides to do it all over again.
Chris: Yeah, and to do something because they like it and believe in it. It's not credible. The singer is supposed to have written the first Pop Idol theme, isn't he?
Neil: No!
Chris: That's quite good, the first Pop Idol theme.
Neil: Good for him, that's what I say Chris: Well, they're not young, are they? Neil: Young, they're not.

12. Kings Of Leon Thuth And Young Manhood

Neil: I bought this, because I keep reading that it's good and Noel Gallagher said that it was his favourite hand of the
moment ages ago.
Chris: I heard the single during the chart rundown and I can't remember much about it. Neil: When I read the NME which I do only occasionally, I feel it's all a bit tragic, the whole world of rock music. If you look at the top ten albums there is nothing to do with the NME there apart from the Coral.

28. Avril Lavigne Let Go

Chris: I hate Avril Lavigne.
Neil: Ghastly (astonished) That's quadruple platinum in Britain! She can't be big in Britain. We don't buy that kind of bollocks, do we?
Chris: I hate Avril Lavigne.
Neil: I can't stand the sight of her. Because it's evidenily rabbish.
Chris: I hate the whole thing. I think she's phoney. I imagine someone writes the songs for her and she has the nerve to pretend that she's an artist.

29. Coldplay A Rush Of Blood To The head

Neil: I loved the first album. I
thought it was great. I absolutely loved it. The second album, I heard the singles but I
had a copy and I gave it to my brother. Chris: The bass player shouldn't have grown his hair
Neil: That's the big issue.
Chris: That was the turning point for me. Neil: Ultimately I think they're very talented, but there's a sort of music now which at the end of the day one doesn't feel totally in sympathy with.

32. The White Stripes Elephant

Chris: I only really know the single.
Neil: The most critically-acclaimed group ever for me
not to have a record by.
Chris: You couldn't be pushed? Even though Bic recomtnended it.
Neil: He did, actually. I could still be pushed. I could be one of those people that comes to the project late. But do you know what? Man plays guitar, woman plays drums, ultimately I'm not interested. And neither of them are good looking.
Chris: Even incest's not going to interest you enough to like that, is it?
Neil: No, it's not.
Chris: I'd like to hear the dance record that uses the bass line or a guitar riff or whatever it is (from the single "Seven Nation Army") butt don't feel drawn to them at all. And I'm not going to buy an album just to hear what it sounds like.

36. Eminem The Eminem

Neil: It's a good album, you know. But the single from the
Lose Yourself" is his best record.
Chris: We went to see him at Milton Keynes. That's how much we like Eminem. We're huge fans. We were sort of at the periphery; it would have been nice to have been at the front. Neil: Chris and his sister were embarrassed because I sang along with it. They didn't tell me until afterwards.
Chris: The bits between songs were just fantastic. Eminem talking.
Neil: That's the best bit.

Conclusion
Chris: I think we've concluded that there's always good records around.
Neil: And that I don't listen to Radio One. Chris: Can I just make one final point here? Why are people obsessed with buying albums when we've proven that there's very little you'd actually want, whereas you could just cherry pick the singles chart and compile yourself through your singles that you've bought a rather good album?
Neil: Well, Chris, I'm going to challenge that... Chris: But I hate albums. They're rubbish. The only good album is someone's greatest hits when you like every single track.
Neil: What I'm surprised at is that we live in an era when the music business is always in crisis and down the dumper and all the rest of it... Chris: Always trying to kill off the single... Neil: They've been trying to kill off the single as long as I've been involved in the music business. But, anyway, album sales are up, and if we look through this chart: Robbie Williams six platinum, Daniel Bedingfield triple platinum, Sean Paul already gold, Busted double platinum, Beynnee' platinum, Stereophonies platinum, The Darkness gold...
Chris: And I can proudly say I don't own one of those.
Neil: No, neither do I.

Copyright Areagraphy Ltd 2002: All Articles have been
Taken From Literally 2002 Issue 27